vocabulary for today is 'remember'

so...suddenly i remember my past assignment for comparative literature...it reminds me so much of how badly i wanted to be a writer...hehehhehe...and then suddenly i want to become a poet (that's why i try to write a poem just now)hehehehhehe....and now remembering back with what i've written in my assignment...i can't believe that i actually wrote those assignment (not that i copied it off from someone, believe me it's mine, it's originally from my thoughts and some academic reviews). the assignment i wrote about was a comparison of art writing...comparison of emotional writing...comparison of author writing...we were ask to compare a book and a movie which is similar in some way....alright. now i don't remember as much (to add how bad i remember it, i forgot where is the assignment now...hehehhee)okay, so it was between the work of a novel entitled 'salina' one of the greatest work of a. samad said or maybe a book called 'autobiography of a geisha' by sayo masuda....and the movie...of course the 'memoirs of a geisha'....anyway it was a great experience writing about it...and to add some spice to it...i had a reason why i remember about it....it was an assignment that i had misinformed (i misunderstood actually...hehhhe)about the duedate...hahahahha...thought it was the next week but turn out to be tomorrow...gosh...how i manage to finish it on time....i've not slept that day i found that the duedate was tomorrow...so i stayed up until 5 in the morning....hehehehheehheh...last minute work...hehehhe..not that i've not done it before...but it was shocking to me to find out the duedate was the next day...good thing i found about it sooner....anyway i already prepared all the reviews..it's just that i haven't started writing the assignment...hehehhe...anyway...that's it for now.....
this blogwriting have been much of diary writing....need to remind myself that not to jote down things purposely..just to give some thoughts about things i thought about...nothing serious though....for we all have memories to remember....so remember that remembering things remind us of great things about ourselves and it reminds us to be better than ever....and do learn from mistakes....till then...

trying very hard.....

i'm trying here...do help me....
i'm trying very hard to forget about you...
i'm trying very hard to forget about us...
i'm trying very hard to forget about it...
the more i try the more i remember....yet....
i'm trying very hard to remember about you...
i'm trying very hard to remember about us...
i'm trying very hard to remember about it...
the more i try the more i think about it....and now...
i'm trying very hard not to think about you....
i'm trying very hard not to think about us....
i'm trying very hard not to think about it....
i'm trying very hard... for i've sinned...
so help me God...

what if....?

what if.....?
this question should've not exist at all....
it ruins everything....yet it could alter everything....

as much as....

i can't explain much about it....because...
as much as you want it to be real....it won't do much to how things are now....
and as much as you want me to be yours wholeheartedly....it won't change how have you do unto me....
and yet...as much as i want this to be better than ever...it won't change the facts how much things have changed now....
but please...never ever doubt that these feelings i have for you isn't real....for it is and will always be for eternity....and that how much i to you....

it hurts like hell...

what hurts?
love hurts....



tell me about it....
it hurts like hell....
especially the one that we couldn't have
love from the past.....
but thank god for the love that i have now....
it never heals....
but it's getting better...pray for it...hope for it...strive for it....
my love now....



my only Izz....

i need you more than you know....

want u more than i can bare....
spoil me more than you can....
love me more than you want to....

saddd...........

it's sad sometimes when we pity ourselves more than we praise ourselves.....

saddd...........

it's sad sometimes when we pity ourselves more than we

-ve

everything = -ve.....i dont like this negative feelings i have now....

HOW COULD AN ANGEL BREAK MY HEART

I heard he sang a lullaby
I heard he sang it from his heart
When I found out thought I would die
Because that lullaby was mine
I heard he sealed it with a kiss
He gently kissed her cherry lips
I found that so hard to believe
Because his kiss belonged to me

How could an angel break my heart
Why didn't he catch my falling star
I wish I didn't wish so hard
Maybe I wished our love apart
How could an angel break my heart

mmm..mm

I heard her face was white as rain
(your face is white as rain)
Soft as a rose that blooms in May
(soft as a rose in May)
He keeps her picture in a frame
(I keep your picture)
And when he sleeps he calls her name...
(I only call out your name)
I wonder if she makes him smile
(she doesn't make me smile)
The way he used to smile at me
(I only smile at you)
I hope she doesn't make him laugh
(she doesn't make me laugh)
Because his laugh belongs to me
(my laugh belongs to you)

How could an angel break my heart
(you are my heart)
Why didn't he catch my falling star
(I'll catch your star)
I wish I didn't wish so hard
(don't wish so hard)
Maybe I wish our love apart
(love falls apart)
How could an angel break my heart...
(your tender heart)

whoa..oh...yeah

Oh my soul is dying, it's crying
I'm trying to understand
Please help me

How could an angel break my heart
(I never break your heart)
Why didn't he catch my falling star
(I catch your falling star)
I wish I didn't wish so hard
(you never wish too hard
Maybe I wished our love apart
(we're not apart)
How could an angel break my heart...
what..
oooh....

i personally love this song....it meant a lot to this one time long ago....i felt what the song felt....how could he break my heart.....well now everything's fine...hehehheheheh..hoping it'll never happen again....i don't think i can handle it again....

Children learn what they live

Children learn what they live – Dorothy Law Nolte

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.

If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.

If children live with ridicule, they learn to be shy.

If children live with shame, they learn to be guilty.

If children live with tolerance, they learn to be patient.

If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.

If children live with praise, they learn to appreciate.

If children live with fairness, they learn justice.

If children live with security, they learn to have faith.

If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.

If children live with acceptance and friendship, they learn to find love in the world.

A strong woman vs A woman of strength

Quoted from Avie 'Bunny' Erevia Shaneiva Spawa


A strong woman works out everyday to keep her body in shape...
But a woman of strength kneels in prayer to keep her soul in shape...
A strong woman isn't afraid of anything...
But a woman of strength shows courage in the midst of her fear...
A strong woman won't let anyone get the best of her...
But a woman of strength gives the best of her to everyone...
A strong woman makes mistakes and avoids the same in future...
But a woman of strength realizes life's mistakes can also be God's blessing and capitalizes on them...
A strong woman walks sure footedly...
But a woman of strength knows God will catch her when she falls...
A strong woman wears the look of confidence on her face...
But a woman of strength wears grace...
A strong woman has faith that she is strong enough for the journey...
But a woman of strength has faith that it is the journey that she will become strong...
Whatever it is, when you feel like there is no way out and giving up is the best option, hang on there...!
'Coz in the end, you'll find yourself to be the last one standing... standing tough!
Women, you are strong and you have the strength... know your worth!
And by the way, YOU ARE SPECIAL...

HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR...

I JUST FOUND OUT THIS....Hehehehehehhehe

Lunar New Year

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Lunar New Year refers to the beginning of the year in several calendars. It is commonly assumed that they are all based on a lunar calendar, although some are actually based on a lunisolar calendar.

so.....this year is the 2nd year i celebrate lunar new year or chinese new year with my lovely hubby...but this year with my only izz..hehehehhe...hopefully get to really celebrate CNY for real...hehehheheh....not that the past 2 years didnt celebrate it for real...just not completely celebrate it like the chinese does...ehehehehhe....so later i guess....anyways....nice to have multicultural family....not that many...basically only 3....hahahahhahah...

ST12 - Biarkan Aku Jatuh Cinta

Mata ini indah melihatmu
Rasa ini rasakan cintamu
Jiwa ini getarkan jiwamu
Jantung ini detakkan jantungmu

Dan biarkan aku padamu
Menyimpan sejuta harapan
Aku padamu
Rasa ini tulus padamu
Takkan berhenti
Sampai nanti ku mati

Biarkan aku jatuh cinta
Pesona ku pada pandangan
Saat kita jumpa
Biarkan aku 'kan mencoba
Tak perduli kau berkata
'Tuk mau atau tidak

TIME

TIME TO LOVE N BE LOVE....

Salam…..well it’s nite and it’s midnite oredi….so let’s do this…let’s talk…maybe a little topic…for example…let’s have a talk about TIME…hmmm…it’s obvious rite…..it’s kinda heavy topic for midnite….heheheheh…anyway..how time flies by…..it’s 2011 oredi….i kinda remember being in the year 2000….so many memories then….then….let’s go back further…1995….hehehehhehe..it’s kinda fun remembering the times when my family n I back in the states…it was an experience…not so adventurous anyway… I was only 14 then….hehehehehe..so young n naive I might say…there were hard times then…then again I survived…we survived…then back to Malaysia after 3 years…once again we faced again the interlanguage…especially my little sister n brother…not that hard to get back together with old friends…me on the other hand a bit hard…I was never really been in the kampong..so my friends would mostly be my relatives..hehehhe….then I was fine….proud to have friends like them….there are 4 of us… 2 of them were my aunts (1 of them a mix of aunt n cousin also, both are 1year younger than me..hehehhehe) and the other one is my relative also which I would consider my cousin due to her brother married to my cousin…..hehehhhe….anyway…they are my best friends at the kampong….then time flies again….we all had other plans in life…I then went to Uitm and UMS later….n how time flies….i met my hubby in the time I’m trying to heal from a love that was never meant to be…hmmm..not much I can about my past love….it’ll hurt me again in some way…hmmmmm…huhuhuhuuhuhuh…sedihnya klu teringat…huhuhuhuhuh… anyway…it’s past rite…then how time flies again…..n now I have my truest love IZZ FAUZAN CHEE my young boyfriend…hehehheheh… sorry honey…u r my truest love also….hehehhe…my old boyfriend…heheheh not ex k…. only old…hehhehe…no lah….u r always young to me…eventhough u’r older than me….hmmmm…mmg oldlah….hehehhehe…luv u….thank you Allah for everything….i can’t thank you enough for giving me the time to experience such love from everyone who love me….especially my family….

reading........read read read....

okay....now it's about reading....after reading some blogs..it kinda remind me of something which is unnecessary to think of...anyway....these things that we dont need to think of maybe sometimes be our strength...i meant that it can be our biggest thing....get it?....i dont get it my self either....let me try again.....reading sometimes makes u think of things which does not need to be remembered...but this puny mind has it own say....it thinks whatever it wants to think about...yet the mouth dont say what it say...so why bother thinking about it...then u come to think...subhanallah...what a creation that Allah made....then the heart...what does the heart has to say about this....'ikut hati mati kn?'...so ikut akal?.....hmmm.....emo n rasio...which 1 is most preferable?.....well u decide.....so what does strength got to do with it?...hmmmm..this got me thinking again....what am i talking about?....clearly i cannot say what my heart n head want to say....

mine.....

MINE.................
My Izz....u r mine from the beginning until the end.....i cannot be more grateful to Allah for giving such beautiful child ever....cry most of the time whenever the thoughts of u not there with me....that would be the same feeling for your papa....i cannot n would not handle it if u guys were not with me....however...there's a feeling that i cannot have all the things in the world....like my mom said....'nafsu dunia kan di talan'....my sisters knows about this...heheheheh...anyways....luv so much izz's papa n my izz.....hopefully we can fulfill our dreams whatever they may be....so much dreams bah ni...hehehehhehehe...insyaAllah....